Desolation: An Essential Part of the Priest's Life
This week, I was assigned to preach for about five minutes during vespers one evening. In light of Septuagesima Sunday, this is what I wrote up to talk about. I hope it can be pertinent to your life in some way as well
Desolation: An Essential Part of the Priest’s Life
Over the past few weeks, some of our brothers have shared some very moving and touching postils about various encounters with the Lord, particularly during Eucharistic devotions weekend. Many of those who shared these encounters were greatly impacted and their discernment took a turn for the better. We also hear so many powerful scripture stories about either somebody’s encounter with the Lord, or the Lord directly asking us to come to him. I hope that these postils and scripture passages have touched our hearts at some point, but what do we do when they don’t? Tonight I will be discussing the reality of desolation.
In many homilies at my home parish, I hear frequent invitations to come to the well of Living Water where I will never thirst, and I somehow end up thirsty again anyways. When I was pondering if I should join the seminary, many vocations directors told me that Our Lord has come to give us life to the full, but now that I am here, many days feel dreary and lacking in satisfaction. One evening last year, I distinctly remember heading to the elevator with a brother seminarian, and I just gave him a defeated look after working on a paper and said, “Man, I don’t know if this is the abundant life that I was promised.” We both had a good laugh and continued on with our duties.
The idea of desolation is almost attractive… at least until it arrives. It is fun to read works like The Dark Night of The Soul and think that I am ready for any challenge… until a small inconvenience comes my way. Likewise, in philosophy class, it is so easy to justify why vice is irrational and pointless to pursue. The continent person is praised for doing whatever it takes to be good in spite of the painful desires of the flesh. When desolation comes, people like to quote Mother Teresa who had her long period of darkness in prayer, and we justly give her honor for her heroic faithfulness. On the flip side, the incontinent person can be dismissed as a man of weak will who just needs to suck it up and try harder. We don’t turn to many people who lived an incontinent life, at least without repenting.
This is the battle of desolation; it is a spiritual one. We will be knocked down, and we will sin; but how will we respond? Will we respond with faith and pure trust in Our Lord? Or will we simply give up and choose despair?
For those of us who will be ordained one day, our flocks will look to us for strength just like any other father figure. When a person comes into our office having a crisis of faith, do we want to be hypocrites and merely quote some practical advice from St. Ignatius’ Discernment of Spirits? Or will we suffer alongside them in their personal pain of desolation and accompany them in the battle?
As future priests, our primary job will be to offer sacrifice to the Father for the salvation of man. Yes, this is ultimately done in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, but this sacrifice should lead us to offer a sacrifice of our own lives both to God and neighbor. We will not know how to do this unless we experience desolation and the fullness of the pain and agony that come with it. It is tempting to think that our actions are useless and insignificant during these times of loneliness, but Our Lord suffered His worst desolation during His salvific passion and crucifixion. If by the will of God, Our Lord experienced desolation during His ultimate self-offering, then it certainly needs to be a part of the offering of the Alter Christus as well.
I have no easy solution to end our times of desolation, but I can at least provide encouragement to keep running the race. I will conclude with the words of St. Paul saying,
“Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall. No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.”
Amen